Anonymous Notes

The terms civilization and culture together bring out the need for approval of individual actions from a group of peers. This when left to develop enough leads to a moral code. Which in essence is the opposite of barbarianism/animalistic tendencies.

So here we are with a moral codes which extend from ethics to conscience and consequentialism to guilt. This gives us a egotistical high ground from which to look down upon the rest of the universe. Once we finds ourselves on this imaginary pedestal there is nowhere to go but down. Let me elaborate.

In work life or in personal matters we take the moral code to be universally applicable but this will conflict with sel-interest and desirable outcomes. At this point we are left with an option to loosen the moral code (bend so to say) or forgo personal gain. As can be noted from the quote

Let he/she who is without any flaws or sins ‘cast the first stone

All of us have made these compromises at various points in time. But this code is usually so much a part of our existence that life without appears to be an impossible commodity. But then again moral codes are flexible (after all they can be bent ) but it’s like segments of a rubber band. If you pull on one side the other will tighten and resist more. Or as Newton put it once. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, Well in this case opposite but not really equal. I do not mean to say that we always have a looser moral code as we progress through life. But it allows modification within limits. Of course socio-economic conditions play a major role but, Individuals do have a level of control over it.

For those of you who read this far hoping I’d get to the point. Well there isn’t any just an observation, at best astute , at worst a foregone conclusion.

Festival season is hunting ground for 20 something singles (not a necessarily criteria) around the world. I was out and about with a mixed group of friends in the wilderness previously known to us all as ‘Durga Pooja’ when I heard the phrase.

Whatever happened to all the good looking warm men?

Obviously recounted by a female peer of mine. It got me to thinking about desired traits in human matchmaking. Most Indians have at some time or the other glanced at a matrimonial classified (same goes for matchmaking services/websites elsewhere) and the ridiculous pursuit of various ‘virtues’. The way I see it people are always looking at grass on the other side that’s not really there at all. In other words there is no such thing as a perfect match. I concede that the good parts may outweigh the bad in many cases, but the dark underbelly of a relationship is never for the public eye to see.

Getting back to the point in contention where did they all go?

• They got married (that would still not explain disappearance)
• They aged horribly into their late 20s and hence fail on the first count
• They lost vitality and enthusiasm as they aged and hence fail on the second count

Beauty is a commodity distributed evenly enough so I’ll wash over that part. I’d like to think that the second adjective in discussion is due to changing/changed perspectives.

When I was in school there was never a dearth of people to meet and most had been on the same beaten path as me for most of their lives. This would include similarities in interest and sensibilities of acceptable human behaviour. As I moved into my mid 20s I saw that there are many other kind of people who do not match the traditional definition of ‘warm’ that I grew up with but each and every single one has a set of moral and egotistical peculiarities. At the end of the day every human requires justification to self for actions taken. A select few do wallow in self-pity and playing the underdog for most of their lives, but as for the rest of us, we have it ingrained to behave in a certain way. This makes people wary of going outside the inner circle of people since outsiders do not play by the same rules.

Polygamy(either sex) is not unheard of but unacceptable in a prospective match by my moral make-up. Similarly there would be other things (can’t think of one right now) that I may consider perfectly normal and may not be acceptable by others. The most important thing here is an understanding that the other person is different but not necessarily immoral by their rules. I notice people making their circles smaller and smaller in the absence of this understanding.  For example: If a person got a make-over(lifestyle wise) that does not make them a bad person. On the contrary it makes them proactive in expanding their circle. But a lifestyle change also means a new set of friends and new interests. Old acquaintances often view this as betrayal and make their circles unnecessarily smaller.

Where are the Good looking warm men(and women)? They are as present as they always were. It’s the way you look at the world that makes them visible.

I have made previous blog entries about happiness on this blog but had not posted it here but it was on my older blog here.

Anyway I saw 2 groups of people at a local mall the other day and the point in discussion was if you were to choose a person from 2 groups
1. pseudo rich and pretentious
2. rich and pretentious
who would you rather pick to pursue as a romantic interest. My personal experience has been that neither group would do you any good but that it’’s easier to open a window to the former rather than the latter. This brought me to the realisation that pretention is something which is in fact ingrained in most member of our society and thus we are all equipped at some level to handle it in our own different way. The trick is to not realize that in fact you are what you”d rather be.

Who is truly Happy…

My Dad once told me that the happiest man in the world most probably was a daily wage worker who had just earned enough to get thru the day and was about to go to sleep at night.

Being happy requires ‘roti’ (bread), kapda (clothing) and makan (a roof), but is that all, Well most people I see around me do have those commodities but I wouldn’t call them happy people. At the end of the day when they go to sleep they do not have a feeling of completion.

This is an unfinished journal entry that I hope to complete some day. The thoughts are there but the words I fail to say…

Moving on in Life has probably been the oldest human/Animal instinct that has filtered down the ages. People learn to do it in the face of all kinds of obscure situations. But in the end of it all these phases of transition are what makes us alive. It makes us able define a purpose in life. It is to these moments of transition which we look back and are proud of.

I feel i’m in one of those phases now. I’m sure I will be able to look back to  this part of my life and say ‘I did good!’.

Just about now it feels like I’m about to give up but I know I will wake up tommorow with a new vigour (and more assignments to do).